Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
