in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
