So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize