what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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