fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
