can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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