some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
