remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
