I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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