So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
