You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
