i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
