Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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