I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
