so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
