I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
