Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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