it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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