none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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