I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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