thus making me awesome and them whores
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
