i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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