I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
