I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
