Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I got inside last night via doggy door
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
