Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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