brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
