i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
