Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
