I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Alive.
So much puke
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
