You made me cry and you don't even care
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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