if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is it penis luge time yet?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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