Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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