If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize