I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We need a shit load of segways right now
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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