If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
