I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
