overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
