I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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