I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
worst night to have a conscience
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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