i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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