Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
