is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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