I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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