I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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