if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
