If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
