I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
