I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
