I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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