Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
