last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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