Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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