I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
