yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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