Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
